Of Name Calling & One’s Death

The showcasing of the hotel CCTV aggravated the already existent bashing of Christine Dacera, the young woman who was found dead by her gay friends in one of the hotels / quarantine facilities in Manila last January 1, 2021. They partied for the NYE celebration, had too many drinks and there’s the suspicion of having party drugs on the scene although no drugs were found in Dacera’s system. While the PNP made a statement about the case being almost closed— initially declaring that there’s rape and assault resulting to Dacera’s death, the Office of the Medico-Legal said that she died of aneurysm and that there was no rape, no penetration, no semen, and no drugs found in her system.

Her friends were immediately tagged to be suspects. Some were detained. Rewards for those who were in hiding came in – 100,000 pesos, then there’s that Manny Pacquiao bounty worth 500,000 pesos.

News came about that her friends were gay – the ones who were arrested for rape / slay. The CCTV showed how will she was behaving that night kissing her friend and according to the group, she was being naughty and they’re trying to keep her company, keep her steady at least despite all of them being drunk and tired.

That’s what friends do.

She was called malandi, pokpok, pakawala, walwal, lasengga, adik – all the names you can brand someone who drinks and gets wasted.

But the question is si Christine lang ba ang ganun pag nalalasing? (Is she the only one who acts like that when drunk?)

I myself have had one drink too many on several occasions and I am always surrounded by men, not even beki (gay) friends, male (straight) friends.

  • There was this instance when I gave a down payment for an apartment I am to share with a couple of guys somewhere in Quezon City, I’ve only met them that night because the guy was my friend’s blind date and we all ended up in his pad. How did I get the money to pay the rent? Perhaps I’ve withdrawn from an ATM in the middle of the night because I do not carry a lot of cash around.
  • The other one was rolling down the steep mountains of the South. Apparently, quatro kantos (gin) is strong enough to disable my whole system, thankfully, there was a flat surface that stopped the continuous sliding.
  • Another was when I supposedly removed my pants because it got wet. I thought I was asleep at my home. I woke up wearing a guy’s shorts because he had to clothe me somehow.
  • Met a lifelong friend in a place called Alchemy. I went to the ladies room alone and threw up badly and there was that sexy girl in micro mini shorts and black tanktop whose hands held my long hair so it won’t get all soiled up. She sat with us all night. She’s now my bestfriend – 10 years forward.

So in all those stuff, I may be deemed makulit (naughty) due to intoxication but those weren’t sexual experiences. Not everyone who is with an all-male company necessarily is malandi (flirt) and can get raped. Some were just having fun.

Christine’s situation is unfortunate and I am not to comment on an existing case but name calling, really?

A lot of people act differently at home and with friends. Not necessarily living a double life, just living the life!

I mean in my class, some of us who were known party girls got into the Dean’s list and the nice girls ended up being pregnant. I mean there’s no shame in that because every kid is a blessing but yeah, people act differently at home and with friends.

Do not judge because people are people.

Featured image from: reportr.world

Thirteen Reasons Why: Bakit Single Ka Pa Rin? (Reason #4)

Two years ago, I was thinking of reaching out to Fashion Pulis (he’s like Perez Hilton of the Philippines) and give him a juicy blind item. You see, my boyfriend of two years dumped me for a celebrity. I hated them so much. My ex had shocked me with a revelation that we are broken up through a Facebook post shaming me in front of our so-called friends. I had no idea that we were even in trouble, worse, broken up. It was the shocker of a lifetime.

The girl is a cougar. She’s a friend of a friend. I used to see her in clubs with friends being all chummy chummy and generous. Trying to buy her way into our circle perhaps? We’re sold. She was not just generous, she was sweet to me as well. We became friends eventually. Or so I thought.

One time, my ex and I wanted to celebrate somewhere fancy for our second year anniversary, it was September. My then boyfriend knew that I won’t allow him to spend a fortune on a staycation in a fancy hotel so we’ve asked our friends for possible alternatives – our celebrity friend incidentally had vouchers. She’s given us vouchers to stay in one of the Philippines best hotels for a long weekend – full board with spa and all. It was generous and I told her we couldn’t accept it. She said, “the hotel gave these vouchers and they knew it’s transferable, they expected that I’d give it away!” She was pushy so we took it. I was so thankful because she was full of care. I thought she really liked me.

October, my ex had a work trip and went to an aviary with work “friends” – he’s taken so many pictures of birds and butterflies but I didn’t see any “friends” – according to him, he’s not interested in human photos. The aviary should suffice.

Photo by Zoosnow

Incidentally, the celebrity posted on her verified account some photos very similar to what my ex had posted.

“That could not be. He wouldn’t lie to me about it,” I told myself.

November, they were going out as friends, with our group. Unfortunately, my duty @ work would always coincide with their trips. I wonder if it was coincidental or deliberate.

“It could not be. Because why?”

The celebrity is pretty. But she’s way older. I mean, I am young, with all the potentials on all levels. I am not a bad girlfriend and we never had any troubles – none that I know of, at least.

“It could not be that he’s cheating on me with her? Has he gone mental?”

Latter part of November. He told me that he wants to cool it off, not even straightforwardly placed. Cool off, like temporary?! Of course it was not.

A day later, he went on a trip with her. Friggin slutty cougar. Yes I know. I am a stalker.

What could he want from her? Money? He is rich and lives in an exclusive subdivision where the old money people live. But he is definitely a famewhore. A week later, our friends became her exclusive friends and they’re now a celebrity gang. A circle of socialites, while betraying me and choosing to leave me behind.

My ex. I get it. Perhaps he is more sexually compatible with her. That’s all I can think of. Because why else? We were super cool together. We do not even fight. Is it because I refused to do anal?!! Is she all about that because if so, WTF!

These are the thoughts coming into my mind because I couldn’t think of anything else.

Unfortunately, I lost some of my friends in the process. They’d message me separately, would want to hang separately, but they’ve hidden the fact that he has been cheating on me. So they too are X to me.

Is it for being tagged by a celebrity in IG? Is it your photos being liked by a verified fucking account?

Photo by Cristian Dina


To add insult to the injury. They’ve told everyone I was bitter and totally shunned me away.  

The couple even told some friends that I hooked up with another guy first and now I am making a serious fuss about their getting together.

The hell is that lie about?!

What triggered this post? My ex who is still very much with that person drunk dialing me last night asking if he could come by my house. Stupid fucktard.

TMI Tuesday #1

It’s my first TMI entry for 2021, wishing myself confidence in answering the below:

1. What was the best part of your holiday season?

It’s having an excuse to be lazy and eat a lot.

2. Did you have the opportunity to get down and dirty over the holidays? Please share.

Oh no, I’ve been such a bore! I am keeping my safe distance from anyone.

3. You receive a gift from a family member that is exactly what you DID NOT want. Do you:
a. Smile politely and bin it at the first opportunity?
b. Say thank you and re-gift it next year?
c. Do some detective work and return it at the first opportunity?
d. Try and tactfully suggest something more appropriate for next time?

None of the above. I usually find ways to like the gifts I receive.

4. Sex toys as gifts yea or nay? Was there a time when you unexpectedly opened something R-rated in front of your family? Tell us about it.

No, my family gifts are wholesome so it’s perfectly safe to open anything coming from within our circle. My friends are a different story although we did not meet this holiday season due to the pandemic. We do gift each other toys every once in a while especially for whoever is single. Works for me because I am typically shy to buy for myself. I don’t know. People won’t know or care whether it’s mine or someone else’s but there’s certain level of shame whenever I feel like ordering for personal use. But I wouldn’t mind receiving and gifting.

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Pexels.com

5. What is the best present your significant other has given you?

I am lucky because whenever I am in a relationship, they tend to be generous but the best one was when the guy I was dating introduced me to Derek Ramsay. Hahaha. He knew my type.

Bonus:  Share your New Year’s resolution(s) or reasons why you do not make them.

Resolution: Do more.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday: December 15

This week’s questions are:

1. Agree or Disagree. If people want to have more than one spouse they should be allowed to do that.

If their beliefs allow for them to do that, I agree. Marriage for me should not be a legal process. It should be spiritual one.

2. Do you believe in ethical non-monogamy? YES.

3. Is polyamory something you want? NO. I believe it can be allowed, but it’s not for me.

4. Do you wish that your ethical non-monogamy was a societal/cultural norm?

It is already a cultural norm although not a societal one. I believe that it should not be part of any norm.

I know that it does exist and I accept those who practice it, but there should be a standard norm which is monogamy.

5. If you are in or have been in an open sexual relationship, what are the best bits?

I was in an open relationship and the best part was that you can be attracted to another person and not feel guilty about it. You can engage in sexual acts with other people and not be called a cheater or a liar and yes, not being subjected to interrogation… you can hang and party with your partners without the fear of getting busted. It’s the freedom to do things you’d normally not do in a monogamous relationship.

Photo by Tofros.com on Pexels.com