Yes, it’s been months since I’ve opened this site. It’s not that I am not online, I am present naman in Twitter and Facebook, but I hardly post anything as well.
What happened recently?
My best friend passed away 2 months ago — not because of Covid. He was a victim of a hit and run. He was in his bike, wearing the right gears but then a sedan came out of nowhere, hit him. He was t-boned according to witnesses. The car disappeared. No one was able to catch the plate number, but I was told that there’s a possibility of a footage available from a CCTV in one of the houses nearby. They could get something from there.
We are not old, but, we’re old enough to be asked as to why we’re still single. Like almost, every f**king time. We’d joke about how we’re waiting for each other, but to tell you the truth, that ship has sailed years ago.
We tried hooking up more than a couple of times. We had kissed, like lovers, we were affectionate, but nothing further went on except for that one time, hindi na namin pinag usapan right after, parang walang nangyari siguro, we couldn’t bear crossing that line kaya we’d rather not remember. We’re too good as friends. I wonder if there was really an attraction, or perhaps we’re just both sad at that time.
He was handsome. If you like the eccentric types. Mestizo parang mayaman, pero sobrang hilig sa ukay-ukay saka laging may dalang gitara. May gig lagi? He’d wear slippers all the time, tsinelas pa yun before but these days, sosyal na kami, “slides” na yan. Kelan ko ba sya huling nakita, “ay nung may Covid nung 2020.” Nakitira sya sakin saglit, kasi diba may mga quarantine quarantine, malayo yung office nya, nahahassle minsan yung permit nya, minsan kasi pinapapasok sya sa main office nila, although for some time, we’d only worked at home and it’s pretty funny how he said that he chose me since I was the only he knew who had fiber optic and an extra room at home. I had to laugh. He liked my area because it’s walking distance from his workplace. Mga 5 hours walking distance. Charot. Mga 10 minutes lang. It’s a shame that they do not have a vacancy for what I do, if ever, I would have tried applying.
That one month was fun. We’d eat noodles and bread. We had liquor all the time. Ako pa ba? Ready ako for visitors especially bago magCovid. So dahil walang bisita, naimbak lang. We’d drink cheap liquor, although madaya ako because mahina talaga ang tolerance ko.
We talked deeply (like any other drunken friends), sabi ko anu na, how’s he? He said okay lang sya then he’s asked me kung kumusta naman ako, and I told him, my so-called bf is far away but we’re fine. I am not so sure if he was really my boyfriend (who fast forward to today was not pala – we’ve moved on separately). We had a short moment na natakot ako kasi baka i-kiss nya ako, then super sakit na nang tyan ko kasi kabadong kabado ako, it’ll be like deja vu of the past. Thank goodness. Natawa lang kami both sa vibe. We both recognized how familiar that feeling was.
We promised sa isa’t isa, “pag 40 na tayo and we’re still single… hindi na tayo mag-aasawa okay?” Then we both laughed because the cliche was kami na lang sa finish line dapat… pero we decided, hindi na lang. Surrender na lang kami. Haha.
So pano na yan ano? Ako na lang mag hihintay sa 40? Hindi man lang sya nag 39. Nakakalungkot. Parang ang unfair, pero ganun talaga ang buhay.
I cannot bear show myself sa bahay nila, hindi naman kami nag-attend ng wake given the situation. Maloloka ang mommy nya kasi I am an additional reminder of how her son lived his life. Siguradong magrereminisce galore ulit si Tita. Hindi ko kaya ang ganung kalungkot na scene.
Hay. Sana masaya na sya kahit sa langit, walang beer 🙂
This is my reason #5, for the Thirteen Reasons Why: Bakit Single Ka Pa Rin series