90 Days

Last week, my friends and I got together sa bahay ng pinaka mayaman samin (kasi sa kanila lang kami kasya na hindi masyadong siksikan), medyo hindi na kami social distancing kasi vaccinated naman kaming lahat pero may cringe factor pa rin. I know alam mo yung feeling. So bakit kami nag bonding muli?

It’s because it was our friend, C’s 90th day. It wasn’t though — because we’re unable to gather everyone on the exact 90th day, more on 100th na siguro. Hanggang sa kamatayan, tinatabla sya. I can hear him swear from his grave. Syempre, inuman, reminiscing. Funny things come up when you’re dead.

There was a time when we’re younger when he told me that he thinks he’s in love with me. I totally ignored that moment kasi takot akong masaktan ng friend. Ang drama ko nun, sobrang hurt ako kasi feeling ko, mahal ko rin sya (in retrospect). So andami kong arte that time. Feeling ko, super depressed sya because of me kasi ang ganda ko lang diba? (Feelingera much)

Nun pala, all those times na akala ko is depressed mode sya eh he was hooking up pala sa isa naming kakilala. Bale girlfriend sya ng isang tropa namin. Kaya pala nagbreak yung magjowa na yun is because nakahook up nya si C and our friend found out about it. They hooked up one time na passed out yung boyfriend nya sa kalasingan and si C naman is talagang malandi. So harot + landi = broken relationship.

No one knew about it except the three people involved and nalaman nalang nang iba as we’ve gotten older, yung sa mga one-on-one tsimisan lang. Ako, last to know or baka alam ko na dati, amnesia lang slight.

Sabi nung friend kong si S, stakeholder daw kasi ako that’s why it’s likely na it was deliberately hidden from me. Why is that?

Because the boyfriend of that girl happened to be my first boyfriend in college. Like pagka break nila, after few weeks, I was the one he dated.

So why did I say yes to him? And si C is basted?

It’s because he was just a tropa. Not a friend. Very different from my relationship with C. I don’t care if magbreak kami nito. Unless mainlove ako siguro, which is hindi.

So all this time, yung beef nila, akala ko about me! Tungkol pala sa haliparot na babaeng iyon! Feelingera talaga ako, ano?

Halos mamatay (sorry for the word) kami sa tawa because it’s been ages ago. Para kaming tanga, lalo ako realizing hindi naman pala ako ang rason bakit parang their friendship has turned sour.

Ang funny lang. Things you discover after years of friendship.

Then we were all sad again. Realizing we will no longer be complete, ever. Dati nagagalit yung mga nagtatrabaho sa call center kasi ang OA daw nung mga parents kasi gusto lagi sa mall mag-get-together para kasama ang mga anak. Syempre kami, gusto lang laging nyomo galore. So sa lakad, laging hindi kumpleto either wala ang mga nanay or wala ang mga lasenggo. Very rare talagang makumpleto.

Pero ngayon, hindi na talaga makukumpleto.

Sad.

We looked at each other, someone said, “we really thought cirrhosis will kill him”.

Then we all laughed again.

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TMI – 19 October 2021

TMI Time!

Tell us 7 things making you happy right now, and why they make you happy.

a. Scored new loots from Lazada

b. Discovering FB locked profile feature

c. JM De Guzman rumored to be the 3rd party of Aljur/Kylie breakup – I’d think twice too, if it’s for JM.

d. The fact that I’ll be able to see my parents this weekend

e. New shoes. I got an Alviero pair, it’s awesome!

f. Booster shots could be happening soon

g. You Season 3 binge


2. Tell us 5 things you learned last week.

a. Time flies so fast so optimal living in the now is very important

b. 3000 pesos is no longer enough for groceries

c. Shoes are better than purses

d. Green is the best color

e. Contacts had ultimately destroyed my eyes


3. Tell us 3 things that stand out for you in 2021.

a. So much death, it breaks my heart

b. Normalized being back to work but forever cringing on every touch

c. Learned so many words that my notepad is now almost full


Bonus: What is the #1 thing you cannot do without in life?

I have no idea, this is so absolute… there are those of course that I do not want to go on without (and I know them by heart) but saying I cannot do without? Hmm.. probably, the ability to care for myself let’s say if I developed a degenerative disease and it has progressed to the point that I can’t even breathe on my own… yes, that’s it.

TMI TUESDAY – OCTOBER 5, 2021

It’s been quite a while, since i did one of these…

TMI Questions

1. I’m so jealous, I wish I was _____ . An artist with unlimited ideas

2. When would you seek help from a sex therapist? – I don’t think I ever will seek help from a sex therapist. Do people really seek help from professionals? For real?

3. How do you break up with a friend? – This is a strange kind of breakup, I normally ghost them. I had a friend who formally broke her bestfriendship with someone. It is weird but practical and straightforward.

4. Give us a tip to turn a bad day around. – Sleep on it for few hours. Always works for me.

Bonus: Do you feel drowned by social media? – I have this exact feeling this morning. Last night, IG, FB and Whatsapp were down. It felt great!

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog) post it with your answers. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Getting Acquainted

I did not participate into the tagging bandwagon of 2020 but now that it’s over, I kind of missed reading about it. I missed seeing people’s answers.

I saw a questionnaire today, I thought I’d answer it. Hope you would too.

What are the top three movies that you like to re-watch?

I enjoy watching movies so I have practically re-watched everything I want. I will just tell you my most watched movies:

  1. The Matrix
  2. Bring It On Again
  3. The Harry Potter movies

If you could eat one dish for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Pork Sinigang

If you can speak to any person in the world (living or deceased), who would he/she be?

Living – Sophia Bush, Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler

Deceased – My dead grandmother

If you could choose one movie director to “direct” your life, who would that director be?

James Lafferty. I liked what he did in Everyone’s Doing Great.

Are you a cat or dog person?

I like dogs better but I am a fish person, actually.

What makes you happy?

Not draining my monthly budget. Finding an extra Spam when you thought you’re totally out of stock. Someone ordering from FoodPanda for me.

What do you wish more people understood?

  1. That jokes out of other’s expense aren’t cool
  2. That TikTok should not be equivalent to soft porn
  3. That social distancing is still required

Name your #1 pet peeve?

I really don’t like it when men gets super vain. Naalala ko tuloy yung Fashion Pulis article about Dominique Roque, people would call him out for being more pa-arte arte pa sa photos nila ni Bea Alonzo.

What’s your favourite movie to quote?


“I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” – The Devil Wears Prada

If you had a superpower what would it be?

I would love to have Bradley Cooper’s skills in Limitless but not powered by any substance, just me being super!

Hey, It’s Been A While

Yes, it’s been months since I’ve opened this site. It’s not that I am not online, I am present naman in Twitter and Facebook, but I hardly post anything as well.

What happened recently?

My best friend passed away 2 months ago — not because of Covid. He was a victim of a hit and run. He was in his bike, wearing the right gears but then a sedan came out of nowhere, hit him. He was t-boned according to witnesses. The car disappeared. No one was able to catch the plate number, but I was told that there’s a possibility of a footage available from a CCTV in one of the houses nearby. They could get something from there.

We are not old, but, we’re old enough to be asked as to why we’re still single. Like almost, every f**king time. We’d joke about how we’re waiting for each other, but to tell you the truth, that ship has sailed years ago.

We tried hooking up more than a couple of times. We had kissed, like lovers, we were affectionate, but nothing further went on except for that one time, hindi na namin pinag usapan right after, parang walang nangyari siguro, we couldn’t bear crossing that line kaya we’d rather not remember. We’re too good as friends. I wonder if there was really an attraction, or perhaps we’re just both sad at that time.

He was handsome. If you like the eccentric types. Mestizo parang mayaman, pero sobrang hilig sa ukay-ukay saka laging may dalang gitara. May gig lagi? He’d wear slippers all the time, tsinelas pa yun before but these days, sosyal na kami, “slides” na yan. Kelan ko ba sya huling nakita, “ay nung may Covid nung 2020.” Nakitira sya sakin saglit, kasi diba may mga quarantine quarantine, malayo yung office nya, nahahassle minsan yung permit nya, minsan kasi pinapapasok sya sa main office nila, although for some time, we’d only worked at home and it’s pretty funny how he said that he chose me since I was the only he knew who had fiber optic and an extra room at home. I had to laugh. He liked my area because it’s walking distance from his workplace. Mga 5 hours walking distance. Charot. Mga 10 minutes lang. It’s a shame that they do not have a vacancy for what I do, if ever, I would have tried applying.

That one month was fun. We’d eat noodles and bread. We had liquor all the time. Ako pa ba? Ready ako for visitors especially bago magCovid. So dahil walang bisita, naimbak lang. We’d drink cheap liquor, although madaya ako because mahina talaga ang tolerance ko.

We talked deeply (like any other drunken friends), sabi ko anu na, how’s he? He said okay lang sya then he’s asked me kung kumusta naman ako, and I told him, my so-called bf is far away but we’re fine. I am not so sure if he was really my boyfriend (who fast forward to today was not pala – we’ve moved on separately). We had a short moment na natakot ako kasi baka i-kiss nya ako, then super sakit na nang tyan ko kasi kabadong kabado ako, it’ll be like deja vu of the past. Thank goodness. Natawa lang kami both sa vibe. We both recognized how familiar that feeling was.

We promised sa isa’t isa, “pag 40 na tayo and we’re still single… hindi na tayo mag-aasawa okay?” Then we both laughed because the cliche was kami na lang sa finish line dapat… pero we decided, hindi na lang. Surrender na lang kami. Haha.

So pano na yan ano? Ako na lang mag hihintay sa 40? Hindi man lang sya nag 39. Nakakalungkot. Parang ang unfair, pero ganun talaga ang buhay.

I cannot bear show myself sa bahay nila, hindi naman kami nag-attend ng wake given the situation. Maloloka ang mommy nya kasi I am an additional reminder of how her son lived his life. Siguradong magrereminisce galore ulit si Tita. Hindi ko kaya ang ganung kalungkot na scene.

Hay. Sana masaya na sya kahit sa langit, walang beer 🙂

This is my reason #5, for the Thirteen Reasons Why: Bakit Single Ka Pa Rin series