90 Days

Last week, my friends and I got together sa bahay ng pinaka mayaman samin (kasi sa kanila lang kami kasya na hindi masyadong siksikan), medyo hindi na kami social distancing kasi vaccinated naman kaming lahat pero may cringe factor pa rin. I know alam mo yung feeling. So bakit kami nag bonding muli?

It’s because it was our friend, C’s 90th day. It wasn’t though — because we’re unable to gather everyone on the exact 90th day, more on 100th na siguro. Hanggang sa kamatayan, tinatabla sya. I can hear him swear from his grave. Syempre, inuman, reminiscing. Funny things come up when you’re dead.

There was a time when we’re younger when he told me that he thinks he’s in love with me. I totally ignored that moment kasi takot akong masaktan ng friend. Ang drama ko nun, sobrang hurt ako kasi feeling ko, mahal ko rin sya (in retrospect). So andami kong arte that time. Feeling ko, super depressed sya because of me kasi ang ganda ko lang diba? (Feelingera much)

Nun pala, all those times na akala ko is depressed mode sya eh he was hooking up pala sa isa naming kakilala. Bale girlfriend sya ng isang tropa namin. Kaya pala nagbreak yung magjowa na yun is because nakahook up nya si C and our friend found out about it. They hooked up one time na passed out yung boyfriend nya sa kalasingan and si C naman is talagang malandi. So harot + landi = broken relationship.

No one knew about it except the three people involved and nalaman nalang nang iba as we’ve gotten older, yung sa mga one-on-one tsimisan lang. Ako, last to know or baka alam ko na dati, amnesia lang slight.

Sabi nung friend kong si S, stakeholder daw kasi ako that’s why it’s likely na it was deliberately hidden from me. Why is that?

Because the boyfriend of that girl happened to be my first boyfriend in college. Like pagka break nila, after few weeks, I was the one he dated.

So why did I say yes to him? And si C is basted?

It’s because he was just a tropa. Not a friend. Very different from my relationship with C. I don’t care if magbreak kami nito. Unless mainlove ako siguro, which is hindi.

So all this time, yung beef nila, akala ko about me! Tungkol pala sa haliparot na babaeng iyon! Feelingera talaga ako, ano?

Halos mamatay (sorry for the word) kami sa tawa because it’s been ages ago. Para kaming tanga, lalo ako realizing hindi naman pala ako ang rason bakit parang their friendship has turned sour.

Ang funny lang. Things you discover after years of friendship.

Then we were all sad again. Realizing we will no longer be complete, ever. Dati nagagalit yung mga nagtatrabaho sa call center kasi ang OA daw nung mga parents kasi gusto lagi sa mall mag-get-together para kasama ang mga anak. Syempre kami, gusto lang laging nyomo galore. So sa lakad, laging hindi kumpleto either wala ang mga nanay or wala ang mga lasenggo. Very rare talagang makumpleto.

Pero ngayon, hindi na talaga makukumpleto.

Sad.

We looked at each other, someone said, “we really thought cirrhosis will kill him”.

Then we all laughed again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s